Serial Apologizer Pillows

If that's Gloria, tell her I'm sorry about last night, tonight and tomorrow night. I've decided to start bundling my apologies. Ring.

Priest's 'To do' list.

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

"Gee, I'm awfully sorry!"

"What flower says you're sorry without admitting wrongdoing?"

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I've decided to secede from our marriage."

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

"I finally have an ailment that isn't so bad that I'm worried, but bad enough for me to complain about constantly"

Procrastinator Hall of Fame

"Have I been good or have you been bad?"

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

"Of course I'm sorry for whatever it is I'm supposed to have done."

'Sorry I'm late getting home from work. I overslept.'

"Oh, just cellaring. You?"

"Sorry I'm late, I've brought cappuccinos for everyone."

"Stop moaning. I said I'm sorry."

"I'd like to get something for my wife. Do you have any olive branches?"

"Your basic rule of thumb should be,the bigger the guilt, the longer the stem."

'You always say you'll do things tomorrow. . . but you never do.'

'Next time you apologize, try to do it with no strings attached. String can be very distracting.'

'I was just, er, conserving energy.'

'Your excuses for not doing your homework are excellent. How about a career as political apologist?'

Man looks for wife help from machine.

REPORT CARD, 'This is going to be tough to spin.'

Remorse code

Booger-Boy Scandal 4: 'I just need to craft the text well enough to shut everyone up. . . I sincerely wish they'd all shut up and go away.'

"I'm still waiting for an apology!"

'Would you believe, humble pie?'

'I'm trying to make restitution for shredding the sofa.'

Cat thrusts note through mousehole that reads 'Can't we talk about this?'

'If you're not sorry then I'm not sorry. . .but if you're sorry then I'm sorry.'

'Awfully glad you could make it,old boy and please excuse the gloves,won't you?'

'Bob forgot your birthday. He went fishing instead. So he sent you this Excuse-O-Gram. In hopes he won't end up dead.'

'Something that says I'm sorry without admitting liability.'

'A sincere apology costs nothing and it's a smart career move.'