Apologizing Pillows

'Something that says I'm sorry without admitting liability.'

'Next time you apologize, try to do it with no strings attached. String can be very distracting.'

"I'm looking for an arrangement that says, 'Sorry about the sofa.'"

'Expensive wine, long-stem roses, imported candies...wasn't our argument about MY spending habits?'

'Would you believe, humble pie?'

Priest's 'To do' list.

'Truth? I am just looking out the window...'

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

"Gee, I'm awfully sorry!"

Sorry

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I've decided to secede from our marriage."

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

Hyacinths

"I forgive you, Bumpty."

"OK, what have you done?"

"This is to apologise for the delay in internal mail that you wrote to us about in 1997"

"Of course I'm sorry for whatever it is I'm supposed to have done."

"Sorry I'm late, I've brought cappuccinos for everyone."

'Yes, he plans to accept his party's nomination but first I have to accept his apology.'

Very sorry

Greeting Cards

"I'd like to get something for my wife. Do you have any olive branches?"

"Your basic rule of thumb should be,the bigger the guilt, the longer the stem."

"I'm sorry I called you boring."

Man looks for wife help from machine.

Remorse code

'No dear, I do not think it's time we homo sapiens apologised to the Neanderthals.'

'Let's pretend we're married so we can have a fight!'

Feeling guilty? Florest

"I'm still waiting for an apology!"

'I'm trying to make restitution for shredding the sofa.'

'If you're not sorry then I'm not sorry. . .but if you're sorry then I'm sorry.'

'Kevin, I'm sorry for losing my temper on the eighteenth. Ah I see they removed the flag alright.'

I need a not to expensive gift that doesn't hurt when thrown to my head.