Sequin Lover Gifts

'Wow, you must be good. I never met another impersonator with a fifth-degree sequin belt.'

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

Secret footage from Roswell, shows an alien and debris from a crashed UFO

Join me in a Martini?

Where Indian ink came from.

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

'Sure, go ahead! Evolve! It's all the rage, I know! Have fun! I'll just sit here in this murky, primordial soup with nothing but plankton for company. Why should you stay here with your mother? The one who raised you, fed you...'

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

Parade of Businessmen

You're the botanicals in my gin

Robocop and Juliet.

'I suppose you'll use this as an excuse for turning in your homework in late again.'

"The knights of the round accent table"

Real Life/Surreal Life

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

Olly really didn't know his arse from his elbow.

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

Astronaut finds used firework on the moon.

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

Behind Every Stupid Man

Cat Frankenstein

Save Mars

'Fill her up. No ice - it takes up valuable space!'

'I've got this splitting headache.'

"Okay! Okay! It's a draw!"

'I don't know what all the fuss is about.'

Sew on a sequin!

'I've just realised where we went wron...g'

Victor Frankenstein's Dream: 'This should definitely get me extra credit in my anatomy class.'

"And you'll be a man my son!"

'Does this suit make me look too eager?'

"Oh, this? It can access every piece of knowledge from the history of mankind and I hate it."