Senior Satire Fan Gifts

"Forty may be the new twenty and sixty the new thirty... but eighty eight is still crappin' in paper underpants and swallowing your dentures."

"To all the owners of cars in our parking lot: your left blinker is on."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Director/Action Man toy.

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

Fabrique en Francais (Made in France).

What's normal?

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

The Working Woman's Magazine

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

'Mom, don't you understand? Those collars are symbols of subservience and repression!'

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

"I find that hugely offensive!"

'Good evening! The debate over animal experiments continues...'

The Snarky District

How am I abducting?

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

Parade of Businessmen

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

On the brink.

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'Curious how all four previous employers spelt 'exceptional' with just an 'x'.'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."