Professional Satire Fan Gifts

'Welcome! Highly placed, unidentified administration spokespersons convention.'

'Mr Jenkins, please meet my right hand Mr Jones and my left leg Mr Miller.'

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

Support the Ex-Troops

Director/Action Man toy.

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

Pretty Flowers

Torturing the English Language

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

Fabrique en Francais (Made in France).

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

The height of fashion in 1796

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

reincarnated worm...

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

What's normal?

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

"I don't like the looks of that!"

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'