Professional Satire Lover Gifts

Kibble, I've noticed your latest reports are becoming far too autobiographical.

"I think you may have misinterpreted the idea of an informal interview."

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

Occu-Pie Mars

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Hollywood Sign Developers

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

'That's our mission statement.'

Support the Ex-Troops

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

UK/US Free Trade Deal

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

Pretty Flowers

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

Life is for the birds.

Torturing the English Language

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

Trump pardons

Do Not Resuscitate

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

"I can't decide what I fear the most, Putin's Russia or Putin's America."

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

reincarnated worm...