Senior Citizens Pillows

"We settled into the one-level after our hips got bad."

"I'm trying to determine if the aches and pains are from an injury or just my new normal."

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

Church Basement Foodie

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

'Relax - we're retired, we don't have any teeth.'

"Sure I'm depressed - now they got me on this geriatric dog food."

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

Pensioner's Romance

"You want the truth? I can't remember the truth!"

A man with a walking frame breaks a wheel and hitches a ride with a man on a mobility scooter.

"The wattle fairy came again last night."

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

"America's Funniest Colonoscopy Videos."

'I still have all my own teeth.'

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

"Last one to the top's a geriatric."

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

"The older I get, the more I change from a lounge lizard into a bathroom lizard..."

Things You Say When You Are Officially Old - Volume # 2

Pensioners - Old ink Pens at the park sitting and walking

'Don't talk to me about joint-pain...'

'Watch out for Harold Smedly...He has wandering long-reach pick up tools!..'

'You're in your nineties and still fancy women?' - 'Early nineties.'

"Awww! How long have you been married?"

"Let's not make it a long engagement."