Senior Chauffeur Gifts

"Lost most of my sight, hearing, teeth and hair. Thank God I still god my driver license."

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

I drive, therefore I am.

Upper East Side Dog Park

'It's exactly what I need to drive our only child to school at the end of the road.'

"Hi - Mom? Going to Kayla's house? Thanks!"

'Since you lost your job you're really taking this 'taxi-driver for your kids' thing seriously, Dad.'

"Ma'am, do you know how well you were driving?"

"Let's go! And you're still not getting a car."

'How about wearing a limo driver's cap when taking me to practice?'

"You can turn your blinker off now, Senator."

'If you're coming on this road trip the sign stays'

"I don't know who is more tired, the kids playing soccer, baseball, softball, tennis, lacrosse, volleyball and basketball, or me taking them."

'My drug problem is a little different. I'm being drug to P.T.A meetings, drug to little league practice, drug to dance rehersal, drug to...'

'I don't mind a medical but I think that's a bit much!

"When I ask you to pick up the kids, you only have to get ours."

'It's just natures' way of telling you you're a lousy driver!'

'You say that you were taught by your dad. Is he a cabbie by any chance?'

'Well, Mom - it's about that time when you drive us to school again...'

"I thought that driving around all day picking kids up and dropping them off, then waiting for them,would be more fulfilling."

'I know moms can drive you crazy, but they can drive you lots of other places, too!'

'He's running away from home but he expects me to drive him.'

'Where've you been all morning?' - 'On a pleasure trip. Driving the boss to the airport.'

'Hey, you just cut me off!'

Driver Showdown

Old Farts Keep Right.

'Between football, basketball, and track, out moms do more running around than we do.'

"You have a beautiful smile. It would look great in a glass of water next to my bed."

Stretch Limo for Daschund

A mom taxi

'Jenna just got carsick in the back seat.'

With the kids' schedules more insane than ever, Carol wisely invested in a chopper.

'WHOOOEEE! How's that for some fancy driving!?'

Motorway Services - "It's good to unwind after all that driving."

'You're going 65 miles-per-hour and your coffee is dangerously hot.'