Senior Bargain Hunter Gifts

70 is the new 40

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Beach con-man.

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

'What do you do with the time you save?'

Cut Price

Will work for ETFs

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

SALE

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

"Which of these will look the prettiest without the others?"

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

(Visual gag) Wellard's annual BIG HANDBAG SALE!! A woman is dragging a huge bag out from a bag shop

"I'm beginning to think that buy one, get one free is not always a good thing."

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

"I just..."

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

That's supposed to say garage sale!

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.