Semester Start Gifts

'Take it easy, the textbooks will be here. It's only August 30.'

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

University Soapflakes

'So what are you studying, young man?'

Big Bang Theory.

University Cafeteria. The first semester of college is tough. I'm not taking geography because I couldn't find the classroom on the map. I'm way behind on my archeology assignments. I'm buried and need to dig my way out. And everybody in political science lies and cheats to get ahead. How are you doing in statistics? I think I'm doing very well! My test scores are hugely below the class median. I should probably learn what that means.

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

"It's going to be one of those days."

Don't you hate...

Jimmy had a very active imagination.

"Ah, bless. His first day at school."

Next semester I have "The Frito-lay

Welcome back students.

"Okay, there's one thing I like about school starting. I have a girlfriend this year."

"Back to school can bring on the summertime blues."

'Glue will wreak havoc on your arteries.'

"At this school we stress critical thinking. And right now I'm very critical of your thinking."

"Have you given any thought at all about where you might like to accrue your student loan debt?"

Milestone in a college student's life: 'Hey! I just got my first collection agency letter, dunning me for my credit card debt!'

'She's taking Chinese and algebra this semester. Go on, Francine, speak a little algebra for them...'

'It's the only way I can afford this place.'

"Next, I will make the excitement and enthusiasm of the start of the school year disappear."

'Turns out the Yahoos didn't invent the search engine.'

'You can't take the Ethics course-you're a Political Science major.'

'I don't know why we're starting school so soon. My mom hasn't even reached the end of her rope.'

"School starts soon...."

"Your mom and I fully support you in your pursuit of a college education...but...it's just gotten too costly and we're not going to fund you after this semester."

'We're broke and tired, but the kids are finally off to school.'

'I know it all...I just can't remember it all at once.'

'No. I left my watch at home along with my freedom.'

Welcome to the Fall semester new roommates!

"I wonder if Nielsen knows how many demographic units spend September through May in school."

"Well, of course mommy and daddy are also said it's back to school time."

"Here's my homework, Miss Sanchez."