New Semester Gifts

Welcome back students.

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

Computer Room.

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

Do your research!

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

Four Types of Test-Takers...

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

Type A Freshman - changed courses four times, got a job, organized a protest, quit the job, plans to take second semester abroad.

'So what are you studying, young man?'

Now showing, at a University near you...

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"I figured out how to raise my grades."

Aerodynamics Lecture room.

"Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study."

Need an elevated state of mind too!

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

"I have a huge Algebra final tomorrow. I know I'm gonna fail."

'What I did on my summer vacation: I wrote about what I had done the rest of the year.'

Pull an all-nighter?

'I didn't write the book report. I downloaded and printed it directly from the Internet, but I did collate and staple it myself.'

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

"There are days when I wish we'd never agreed to him changing his spots"

'The first exam was easy as ABC, but that one felt more like a D,E or F.'

"How'd I do on the test?"

'I got a good place in my exams today. Right next to the radiator.'

"That was one of the hardest exams ever. I don't think anybody got a good grade."

"How would I explain the 'D' in debate class? Probably not very well."