New Semester Gifts

Welcome back students.

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

Computer Room.

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

'It's all original research. I had no assistance when I looked it up on Wikipedia.'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

Do your research!

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

University Soapflakes

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

Four Types of Test-Takers...

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

Type A Freshman - changed courses four times, got a job, organized a protest, quit the job, plans to take second semester abroad.

Now showing, at a University near you...

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

'So what are you studying, young man?'

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"I figured out how to raise my grades."

Aerodynamics Lecture room.

"Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study."

Need an elevated state of mind too!

Pull an all-nighter?

University Cafeteria. The first semester of college is tough. I'm not taking geography because I couldn't find the classroom on the map. I'm way behind on my archeology assignments. I'm buried and need to dig my way out. And everybody in political science lies and cheats to get ahead. How are you doing in statistics? I think I'm doing very well! My test scores are hugely below the class median. I should probably learn what that means.

"I have a huge Algebra final tomorrow. I know I'm gonna fail."

'What I did on my summer vacation: I wrote about what I had done the rest of the year.'

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

'I didn't write the book report. I downloaded and printed it directly from the Internet, but I did collate and staple it myself.'

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

"There are days when I wish we'd never agreed to him changing his spots"

"How'd I do on the test?"

'The first exam was easy as ABC, but that one felt more like a D,E or F.'

"How would I explain the 'D' in debate class? Probably not very well."