Semantics T-Shirts

''Lying' is such a harsh word, your honor. We prefer to call it 'testimony without borders.''

"Why 'Black Death'? Why not 'rodent-related'?"

'I'm afraid it wouldn't work out, Kevin. You say 'data is' and I say 'data are'.'

"We've invented a new word!"

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

"...and you call yourself a computational immunotox-pharmacological an-diffracctiion bimolecular therapeutic ononclonal-antibody genomic metabolic-endocrinologist."

Orator translates in many languages.

'The hippiest dryads were often farouche.'

'Yes, a winky face is correct... But in ancient times, the semicolon was actually used to separate archaic written devices known as 'complete sentences.''

Interpreter for the hard-to-believe-what-they're-hearing.

Thesaurus Editor, Overseer, Corrector, Improver, Modifier.

'...if you look at it in the right way it begins to make sense.'

'This is serious. I think our area of expertise lacks a buzzword.'

"Poetry would be way more accessible if they just said what they meant."

'Squid? They told me this was CALAMARI!'

'I didn't have a fall. I fell.'

'From now on, Jaded will not mean tired or worn out but rather overweight and minging'. V annoying

'I see a castle and a seahorse. What do you see?'

'I know I am an inverted comma, but I still hate being quoted.'

'You can see concrete things, but not abstract things.'

"I'm not going to lie to you. 'Prevaricate' is the word I much prefer. . ."

"We're working on it - but first we have to know what to call it!"

Wordplay

'I'm leaving you because of your constant anal nitpicking, which I can no longer put up with....wait...I mean... Up with which, I can no longer put.'

"You call them slaves. I call them a support group."

"Stop the presses - they've just redefined masculinity!"

'Pedantic? He's the only person I know who insists on calling it a hippoPOTAMUS!'

"I'm lost!"

"Come on into my office, twitters, and let's get right down to mumbo jumbo"

'Difference between 'ignorance' and 'apathy'? I don't know, and I don't care.'

Change (Man changing).

'I hope you didn't feel uncomfortable about me correcting you on your first day!'