Semantics Gifts

''Lying' is such a harsh word, your honor. We prefer to call it 'testimony without borders.''

"Why 'Black Death'? Why not 'rodent-related'?"

'I always thought that was just a figure of speech.'

'I'm afraid it wouldn't work out, Kevin. You say 'data is' and I say 'data are'.'

"We've invented a new word!"

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

"...and you call yourself a computational immunotox-pharmacological an-diffracctiion bimolecular therapeutic ononclonal-antibody genomic metabolic-endocrinologist."

Orator translates in many languages.

'The hippiest dryads were often farouche.'

'Yes, a winky face is correct... But in ancient times, the semicolon was actually used to separate archaic written devices known as 'complete sentences.''

Interpreter for the hard-to-believe-what-they're-hearing.

If Peter had only interpreted Jesus' words literally...

Thesaurus Editor, Overseer, Corrector, Improver, Modifier.

'...if you look at it in the right way it begins to make sense.'

"Poetry would be way more accessible if they just said what they meant."

'This is serious. I think our area of expertise lacks a buzzword.'

'Squid? They told me this was CALAMARI!'

'I didn't have a fall. I fell.'

'From now on, Jaded will not mean tired or worn out but rather overweight and minging'. V annoying

Trumped by Semniotics

It's hard to get a grip on reality these days because more than ever "reality" is a very slippery concept.

Trumped by Semniotics

'I see a castle and a seahorse. What do you see?'

'You can see concrete things, but not abstract things.'

'I know I am an inverted comma, but I still hate being quoted.'

"I'm not going to lie to you. 'Prevaricate' is the word I much prefer. . ."

"We're working on it - but first we have to know what to call it!"

Wordplay

'I'm leaving you because of your constant anal nitpicking, which I can no longer put up with....wait...I mean... Up with which, I can no longer put.'

"You call them slaves. I call them a support group."

"Stop the presses - they've just redefined masculinity!"

"I'm lost!"

'Pedantic? He's the only person I know who insists on calling it a hippoPOTAMUS!'

"Come on into my office, twitters, and let's get right down to mumbo jumbo"