Silly Semantician Gifts

'The hippiest dryads were often farouche.'

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

'This will be great for chase scenes.'

'I'm afraid it wouldn't work out, Kevin. You say 'data is' and I say 'data are'.'

Pie Filling Reader

A Snowman falls down drunk outside a bar.

Cheap amusement with... THE HAPPY COUPLE!

"Professor Zlata! You're just in time to be the planet Neptune!"

"Well, it is a good property. The price is low because it is harder to negotiate due to its S-bend configuration."

"Why 'Black Death'? Why not 'rodent-related'?"

The Gong

'There is a kid at school who can play 'Jingle Bells' with his farts. That is impressive because flatulence is a difficult medium.'

Hazardous substance - ignitable, corrosive, reactive, toxic, real smelly, yucchy.

How the Easter Bunny lets everyone know where the naughty kids live.

Thesaurus Editor, Overseer, Corrector, Improver, Modifier.

Did you know that hawks can travel 250 miles without flapping? Big deal. So can I.

"Standard equipment includes the Manual Anti-Collision Sonic Warning System...otherwise known as the horn."

'Squid? They told me this was CALAMARI!'

'I didn't have a fall. I fell.'

"Coco, stop eating your food properly and play with it like your brothers!"

The Spoonish Inquisition

'From now on, Jaded will not mean tired or worn out but rather overweight and minging'. V annoying

'Today I learned a little grammar in the classroom and LOTS of vocabulary on the playground!'

"After the Great Seagull Reincarnation, we'll spend eternity stealing sandwiches and defecating as we please."

That's a silly question. What does it LOOK like I'm doing?'

"I'm not going to lie to you. 'Prevaricate' is the word I much prefer. . ."

It's not like you to be late... Forgot to set my alarm cock. (Alarm cock? What did you say that for?!)

STRIP Hambone: Wind up computer

'And not only do we think you were lying when you told us Larry went on a winter vacation, we think you had something to do with it!'

Gag pitchforks.

"I'd say your mother was surprised."

I don't care if going straight is quicker - next time we go around.

"Our company has a green culture and a passion for the brand marking this a better world!"

"Virtue is like a thing I saw one time when I was somewhere." "Do not be concerned with gooble or that tooten which bones." Man, I gotta stop writing these in the middle of the night. Confucius in the Morning.

Think globally, act silly!