Silly Situationalist Gifts

Multiple floaters! Gah! - 'They look a bit like little brown fish.' - 'Well hello little fishy-wishes...' -

'This will be great for chase scenes.'

A Snowman falls down drunk outside a bar.

Frankenstein's monster picking out his brain for the day.

'The hippiest dryads were often farouche.'

Mowing the Bottle-Garden

"Oh George, I wish you'd get things in perspective. . .!"

'It's for you.'

'The good news is that the person who stole your identity is spending a lot less money than you were.'

Adoption centre nurse accepting a bribe from a pack of wolves

"You mind if I smoke?"

"Before I give you this anonymous Valentine's card could you just sign this waiver confirming that you won't fall uncontrollably in love with me, or take out a sexual harassment suit."

That's a silly question. What does it LOOK like I'm doing?'

"Hey you! C'mere and hold up this guy's pants while I go through his pockets."

'...Every time he goes on the track we have to notify air traffic control.'

Blind dog.

'Whose idea was it to open an uphill skiing course?'

"Hey, bartender, spill another beer in front of me, will ya?"

"Gesundheit."

"If I don't escape now, I'm toast!"

'What is it now, Dennis...can't you see I'm busy?'

Dunk Mosquito

"Wait a minute! I just robbed my own house!"

"Daddy always begged me not to marry a cactus farmer!"

'Hand over all your money or the toaster gets it!'

'Mr Darling has gone into shock, he missed his train - it arrived and left on time!'

'...But what do you REALLY want?...'

"His dentures keep slipping."

'I'm wondering where my wife is.'

The hearse was a write-off. But at least no one was killed. Again.

Trapped in the worst blind date of his life, John Glynn tries to chew his arm off at the shoulder.

"That is both disgusting and ridiculous!!"

'Somehow Betty escaped the Kitchen and ran to warn the others - no one would listen.'

'That's 84 in a row! A new record!'