Semantician T-Shirts

"Why 'Black Death'? Why not 'rodent-related'?"

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

"There's only one 'L' in colosseum."

'I met him on a Monday and my heart stood still (would you believe?)')

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

'I'm afraid it wouldn't work out, Kevin. You say 'data is' and I say 'data are'.'

"When I was a puppy, I barked as a puppy, I understood as a puppy, I thought as a puppy. But when I became a dog, I put away puppy things except for my shabby, old, beat-up stuffy toy. I still freaking love this thing."

Have I told you lately that I love you

"The house doesn't seem big because the kids are gone - it seems big because we've shrunk so much."

"Be or be not. There is no question."

"There's no need to be em'bear'rassed about what you like!"

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Attic of hopes and dreams...

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

"Call me, Ishmael."

'Please, Miss, surely 'trousers' should be singular at the top and plural at the bottom?'

Woman talking romantically whilst man talks about measuring the scullery.

The stone is semi-precious, so I got you two.

"Audacity, noun. Unrestrained impudence. Impudence... Impudence... Impudent, adjective. Marked by impertinent disrespect. Impertinent... Impertinent..."

Tomato's, Cucumber's, Apostrophe's.

'Colourful scenes in central London as the annual pedants' pride parade makes it way into Hyde park.'

No New Grammer Schools

'The hippiest dryads were often farouche.'

Apostrophe. . . Apostropher

"She keeps shouting, 'couldn't, didn't, can't'."

'Yes, a winky face is correct... But in ancient times, the semicolon was actually used to separate archaic written devices known as 'complete sentences.''

Cowboy in Old West boasts of having shot a guy for ending a sentence in a preposition.

Could you be a little bit more specific than an 'arm and a leg'?

"Oh, do stick it adjectively adverbially where the 'effin' sun don't shine!"

"Mom!! School was fun!!! We learned all about exclamation points!!!!"

I just spend all day inventing the conjunction! And?

"I love the similarities between us. You use irregular verbs, I use irregular verbs."