Sell-alebrity Gifts

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

Trade Show Sherpas

"You're on top of this week's Sales Pyramid."

"This number goes out to all the little people I met on my way back down."

'Herb will provide one of his concise interpretations of the quarterly sales charts.'

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

Tom Hanks

"You may now let me go try to get the sand out of my shoes and suit just in time for my next beach wedding."

Vanna White: The Later Years.

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

Hollywood producer.

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

"Oh, go on Jeffrey. . . Give him an order!"

Amy Winehouse, up in Rock N' Roll heaven.

Joe Henry

"Is Madonna amazing or what? She sings, dances, and acts, and now it turns out she's a writer, too."

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'I don't know where to begin in deciding what I want to be when I grow up...I want people to shut and leave me alone, and I need lots of attention, so...'

'Damn! McGee's good!'