Sell-alebrity Gifts

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

Jack Gleeson

The Life and Times of Miley Cyrus

"This number goes out to all the little people I met on my way back down."

"You're on top of this week's Sales Pyramid."

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

Trade Show Sherpas

'Herb will provide one of his concise interpretations of the quarterly sales charts.'

"This is no time for fightin', princess, there's a war on!"

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

"You may now let me go try to get the sand out of my shoes and suit just in time for my next beach wedding."

Michael Jackson - Mission fulfilled.

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

Tom Hanks

Vanna White: The Later Years.

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

George Clooney Machine

"Oh, go on Jeffrey. . . Give him an order!"

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

"Is Madonna amazing or what? She sings, dances, and acts, and now it turns out she's a writer, too."

Joe Henry

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

Prepare yourself, America. Dancing with the Stars is poised to present a new 12-week competition. And you'll never guess who's dancing now! Listen to the passion and fight in our newest celebrity dancer

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

Hollywood producer.

Amy Winehouse, up in Rock N' Roll heaven.

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'I don't know where to begin in deciding what I want to be when I grow up...I want people to shut and leave me alone, and I need lots of attention, so...'