Self-replication Explorers Gifts

John von Neumann, after completing his book. 'Theory of Self-Replicating Automata'.

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

A sturdy hand-hold against the vicissitudes of life: $1.00 per minute.

"How can you expect anyone else to believe in you when you don't believe in yourself?"

So You've Cloned Yourself

"I feel like there's a chick in me trying to escape."

Man to date about many self-portraits on his wall: 'Self-realization is where I'm headed.'

"Every time I explore the corners of my mind, I have the urge to dust."

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

'I'm trying to get my competence and my confidence in the same place.'

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

"Marriage and relationships?...That would be under 'Arts and Science'!"

Psychology Clinic. Most potent example of solipsism I've ever seen --- he follows himself on Twitter.

What brings you to therapy, Rudy? Dr. Noodle. I've been feeling like my whole life is on pause. And I can't find the remote to unpause it. Meanwhile, everyone else's stories are proceeding apace. They're all into the second act already. They've all had plot twists, and hero's journeys, and epic love scenes, and thrilling reversals of fortune ... Meanwhile, I'm still paused on the opening credits because no remote. Why don't you get up off the couch and unpause it manually? You can do that?

"Adolescencia"

It all began with free-range chicken. Then it was organic vegetables. Next the farmers decided they should all take a year off to go find themselves.

'When I googled myself, and nothing came up, I began to question my own existence!'

Man looking down long telescope at himself.

"Get lost. I'm reading a book!"

"I feel like I'm moving from my quiet desperation phase into something a bit more colorful."

"Nobody wants to steal my identity."

A Classicist Considers Taking Up The Mambo

'I just feel so used all the time.'

Just married.

"...And, what might 'the road' represent?"

"You need to get in touch with your inner tadpole."

"Papi! Papi! I figured it out! I know exactly what I'm gonna be when I grow up!"

After a lifetime of searching, Leonard finds himself.

'Thank you for gently guiding me toward insight.'

Duelling personalities.

Teach your cat to read self-help manuals

"Feeling like a skinny person living in a fat person's body is actually quite normal."

Psychiatry. Why go on a voyage of self-discovery when I can just Google myself?