Self-reflection Fans Pillows

Book reading a work titled: 'How to be self-reflexive.'

"We're following Carrot Top."

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

The Da Vinci Cod

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

You're my Venus

"You're a shark! You're a killer! Nothing can stop you! Now get back in that boardroom and apologize."

"I became a mentor because I needed more direction in life."

"After searching for the sun all night, it finally dawned on me..."

'His ego needs lipo suction!'

"I attended a leadership seminar, they learnt a lot from me."

'He's wearing a toupee.'

'I wouldn't advise you to write your autobiography. It would be a very dull read.'

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

They were long past their canine pasts, but the rare stamp brought out the beast in them.

Rembrandt's Selfies

"Being a celebrated artist, I do sometimes wonder why you never celebrate me."

'Someone stole my identity, didn't like it and sent it back.'

The trick to losing weight is to eat a small portion and wait 10 minutes. By then your resolve has caught up with your appetite!

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"Oh come now, Mr And Mrs narcissus, Have you two been fighting again?"

'I'd trust you anywhere - I think!'

"I'm not loitering officer, I 'm waiting for the next renaissance!"

'What's the difference between solitude and loneliness, doctor?'

'If only I could accept that I can't accept being someone who finds it hard to accept acceptance from those who accept me for the person that I can't accept I really am.'