Self-publishing Enthusiast Pillows

"You sure you want to go the self-publishing route?"

"I decided to self-publish."

'I self-published my e-book and uploaded it into 'the cloud'...but I'm not sure which one.'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Editor.

'Sorry, we can't offer you a job but we would like to publish your CV.'

"Personally, I loved your novel. Unfortunately, our e-book editor says it just doesn't work on the little screen!"

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

'Being a brilliant,inspiring teacher is NOT adequate, Hackwell....'

"I wrote, self-published and remaindered it myself."

"We need a better distribution system."

Publishing Clauses Of The '90s.

"I was able to get you a 2-book deal."

Publisher: 'Do we need more books?'

'Brilliant writing, Mr. Fenswick, but I'm afraid we'll have to pass on your 'How to Commit the Perfect Crime'!'

"Health officials now confirm the proliferation of a new epidemic they're calling 'way too many memoirs being published.'"

Home Business - Business Cards.

Book Shop: DYI section

Are you printing your own book? No, it's my mailing to agents!

"Legal is concerned you made up your 'True Life' adventures."

"They're all the books I've self published on amazon."

"No, it's great. I'm just saying 'The Gospel of St. Luke' is an ambitious title for a first-time self-publisher."

Literary Advice

"Dear Author: Your novel is incomparably brilliant! Unfortunately, we aren't looking for incomparably brilliant novels at this time."

'Bestseller list? But is it print, ebook or combo?'

'I self-published a book on how to be successful. It forced me into bankruptcy.'

'I've been working on this novel since I was 10 years old.'

Man on Desert Island reads about himself.

"I'm self-published."

'He's never forgotten his humble beginnings.'

"Extra! Extra! Read all about it for free on our website."

Martin Luther was a pioneer of self-publishing.

"You should be ashamed of yourself. Growing your own instead of supporting your local, massive, out-of-town hypermarket."

"I publish unfettered on the web."