Book Self-publisher Pillows

Antonio had decided to self-publish his internet rants and babbles because he wanted to reach a more serious readership.

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Squeezing the Free Press.

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

"Meet the author"

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

First Novels.

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

Gay Times...

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

Letters escape from a caged book.

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

Sue the Author 3PM

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

In a world where spelling doesn't count.

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'

'It's the first animal in their dictionary, Inter-Planetary Publishing Protocol is to always list the most intelligent lifeform first...'

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,