Self-proclaimed Genius Gifts

'I make a great business consultant because I'm too smart to have a business of my own.'

"Here it is, world! Extra-terrestrial intelligence! Me!"

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

"Ah, ha! The universe IS expanding! I can't find my glasses anywhere!"

'The school. My counselor told me to make the most of it...'

'How about a toast to my breakthrough?!'

'Very impressive. Do you have any post-kindergarten education?'

'Damn sea monkeys.'

National #@*&%!$@? Tourettes Institute *&%!$

"If you were truly blessed by genius, it wouldn't end there, believe you me!"

Palm Reader...

'I don't see how you can put your profession as TV star just because you were in the crowd of Match of the Day!'

Cut out and keep your own Einstein.

'Well, it is the complete works of Shakespeare all right, however this pig is claiming he wrote it.'

'I love you and your father loves you. Now go paint a masterpiece.'

"Do you know Issac Newton discovered gravity in 1867? Before that people could fly."

'Oh, I know I get an allowance for cleaning up my room, but I'm on vacation this week.'

Chapter 3. Andrew's scheme backfires.

Well yes, I'm quite clever: I have over twenty patents to my name...

Albert Einstein

"He may be a child prodigy, but it's still a lousy C.V."

"Boy, that Isaac Newton is one smart cookie!"

"Behold, as I guide our conversation to my narrow area of expertise."

'Password, password - come on Memory!'

Your IQ is 176, Peel. - 'Is that high?' - 'That's higher than Stephen Hawking.' - 'Wow!' - 'Maybe you'll be a great physicist one day.' - 'Will I shrivel, too?' -

"Is it your intention to seethe for the next four years?"

'The head of our script department!'

"Just because the universe is expanding doesn't give you an excuse to expand with it, Fred."

"Forgive the informality—my secretary is on vacation."

How to win 'Genius Grants' for dummies.

'I don't think my Eric would fancy toilet paper that's been used before.'

Call yourself an ideas man? I can think of better ideas and I'm not paid to think.

'I've forgotten what I'm driving at."

In an amazing demonstration of Reskilling Sylvie reduces energy consumption at the Town Hall by 75%