Self-image Warrior Gifts

Woman stands on scales which have two categories: Too Skinny / Too Fat.

'I got one for each of us, It magnifies the food and tricks your brain into thinking you're full!'

'Does the wet snow make my butt look too big?'

Woman looking into a mirror

'Ahh...now there's a man who understands women.'

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

"May I remind you that my core worth as a human being remains constant, and isn't tied to external validation."

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

Me when by BDD shows up

TV-Mirror.

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

"My fuse about my height is about as short as I am."

'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.

"Dear, it's a well known fact that women's clothes shrink in the closet during winter!"

'I'm afraid my husband will stop loving me as I get older.' - 'Mine would never do that with me. You know why, don't you. He's an antique dealer.'

'Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I can't even get into my own pants.'

'Seth, please bring me a copy of every search engine article that mentions my name in a favorable light. I need an ego boost.'

"Don't make me look fat!"

In these hard economic times, positive self worth trumps negative self worth.

"My left buttock is noticeable larger than my right and my dog is missing his hind legs."

"I think I'll be more relaxed once my secondary sex characteristics kick in."

"Why do I let everybody walk all over me?'

'I look huge in this picture! Do you think you could cut and paste a glass or something into my hand, so it looks like I've just eaten?'

'I'll take THIS mirror.'

'A second opinion? -- Are you trying to mess with my self-esteem?'

"I'm trying to find that perfect piece of art that will make me think I know something about art."

Fighting With Yourself

'He wants to look slightly mysterious and menacing.'

"Do my glutes look big in these?"

"Maybe you should ask yourself why you're inviting all this duck hunting into your life right now."