Self-image Navigator Gifts

"In space, no one can tell you're fat."

"Nice haircut."

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

Book Worm

'Hey Sally, do these new capris make me look pretentious?'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

For $10 I'll show you how you're ugly.

"What does she have that I don't?"

"I'm thinking of changing my parting."

'Cosmetic surgery.'

The company lawyer's self-image vs the boss's self-image.

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

TV-Mirror.

Frida Kahlo

"Look, I still fit into the fitted sheet I wore when we met."

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.

'Does my bum look big in this?'

"It doesn't matter if anyone believes in you. . . what's important is that you believe in yourself!"

"My self esteem is low ... how come I never got hacked?"

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

Well there's something you don't see every day...

'Seth, please bring me a copy of every search engine article that mentions my name in a favorable light. I need an ego boost.'

"So tell me - what makes you think you're a 'monster'?"

Cartoon Panel Discussion

"I feel more quaint than wicked."

"Stock photo, right?"

'Casper just lost twenty seven and a half pounds, but his head is just as fat as ever.'

Does this skirt make it look like sexy fat?

"I ask you doctor, would any normal person wear this hat?"

"It's my self-portrait. Obviously."

'I've got a question. If your answer is 'Yes', I'll hate you. If your answer is 'No', I'll hate you, too. The question is, do you think I need a new dress because I'm looking fat in this one?'

"Well, Mr. Trouble, it's likely your low self esteem is linked to your given name."

"Yes, but why did they use a picture that makes me look fat?!"