Self-help Experimenter Gifts

'Buerrk! Buck, buck, buck...'

"Young Frankenstein"

Self help acupuncture

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

A sturdy hand-hold against the vicissitudes of life: $1.00 per minute.

How to win friends and Influenza People.

"My pets found out they were adopted."

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

"Commandments aren't really selling these days. However, we're willing to consider self-help tips or personal improvement ideas."

"Now that I've solved all my problems, I think I'm ready to create more"

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'When my business turned into a lemon, I made lemonade....but that also failed when nobody liked its taste'

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

"Tell me more about your fear of going bald."

DNA Analysis.

"I think I can". (train)

Thinking with the left side of the brain/Thinking with what's left of your brain.

Japanese woman in minimalist house reads 'How to Clutter Your Life'

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

Monster Self-Help

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

Baby's book is titled: 'Dummies for Dummies.'

"Have you tried just giving your head a shake?"

'We loved this book. Twenty nine experts tell you how to think independently.'