Self-groomer Gifts

The male species

I cut my own hair — using a drone.

6 Quarantine-Friendly Fashions

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

Braiding a Horse's Tail

Haircuts

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

Surfing the daily stress

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

Lesser known greek gods,

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

Bathing the dog

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

"Absolutely not!"

Dating is so expensive...

Emergency Hipster Beard

Dogs shaving

"Be creative...!"

"Too much concealer?"

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"You work too hard. You have stress balls!"

'Your fur looks like you slept in it.'

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

Mr Metrosexual.