Self-employment Adventurer Gifts

Home Business - First Sale.

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

'What do you mean, you're tired of the rat race?'

'Think of this as a window of opportunity.'

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

"What's your occupation?"

Corporate Ladder and Corporate Elevator

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

"If I've got to work for a tyrant . . . I may as well work for myself."

"I told you, if you're looking for a road map for your life, that's all you're gonna get."

"The labor market is awaiting you!"

'I don't actually work for you. I'm a consultant.'

Now hiring.

"I guess I'll see you around Frank."

The Real American Dream

Self-employed.

'You're hired. Go figure.'

"On your application it says you've been a circus clown, an orthopaedic surgeon and a molecular biologist."

"...and before that, I was an embryo."

'Sometimes I think about getting away from all this and get a job as a cab driver in New York city...'

Job hoppers.

'Running away from the circus to join the world of accountancy isn't working out as I expected. . .'

'I hear you're looking for bounty hunters...'

We don't have a budget to redo the last guy's business cards, door placard, and so on, so would you mind assuming his identity in the meantime?

'Refusing to fill in a psychometric test reveals a lot about you, Jones.'

'After graduation, I plan on working in warrantless surveillance for the CIA. How about you?'

'I guess I don't need to tell you that you got the job.'

'I'd love to have whatever job you have left.'

'I always said he was on the fast track.'

Oh my goodness, you're right - I've only been hiding from myself!

'Guess what, I got a job tallying bananas.'

Lew Yomp Jr: Investment Counselor & Elvis Look Alike.

"If you work hard enough, and find the right reality show, you can grow up to be anything you want."