Employment Adventurer Gifts

"You'll have to look harder than that to find a job, Son."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

'What do you mean, you're tired of the rat race?'

'Think of this as a window of opportunity.'

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

"We've developed a five year plan that includes ample provisions for another five year plan if this one doesn't work."

"What's your occupation?"

Corporate Ladder and Corporate Elevator

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

"The labor market is awaiting you!"

Now hiring.

"I guess I'll see you around Frank."

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

'You're hired. Go figure.'

"We got him through a firm of headhunters"

We don't have a budget to redo the last guy's business cards, door placard, and so on, so would you mind assuming his identity in the meantime?

'I hear you're looking for bounty hunters...'

"That was a good interview. Do you have any other questions about this company?"

'The candidate must be decisive and independently minded.' - 'Would I describe myself as 'decisive and independently minded'?' - 'Would you describe me as 'decisive and independently minded'?'

'I received matching offers.'

Job hoppers.

"On your application it says you've been a circus clown, an orthopaedic surgeon and a molecular biologist."

'Running away from the circus to join the world of accountancy isn't working out as I expected. . .'

'Sometimes I think about getting away from all this and get a job as a cab driver in New York city...'

'I see you worked here seven years ago. Don't you have a better reference than that?'

"...and before that, I was an embryo."

'Mr. Whipple, what other qualifications do you have - apart from your quite excellent Donald Duck impression?'

'Make sure that those 'Ideas whose time has come', get launched today.'

'Refusing to fill in a psychometric test reveals a lot about you, Jones.'

'After graduation, I plan on working in warrantless surveillance for the CIA. How about you?'

"I told you they had a tough interview process here."