Self-conscious Humor Fans Pillows

Shy Man at Nudist Beach

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

'We found you in a cabbage!'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

Tequila Mockingbird

Can't even hold signs well.

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

'Guess who's teething?'

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

"Relax, he could just be looking for fun."

'I swear I've never had any plastic surgery, I'm naturally this ugly...Heck, my whole family is!'

"Sorry, coffee is delivered by a union shop and you banned all things union."

"God help us, it's that guy."

'Henry, cut that out.'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

"Do you know donuts have fewer calories than you? I guess that would explain your muffin top."

"Oh you kids and that cursed painting in the closet keep me young."

Sure, snoring is a big issue at our house too: you've seen the size of my dad's nose...

'Hi! I'm a freshman -- when do I get corrupted?'

"When you said we were going to push the boat out tonight, I thought you meant we were going to a fancy restaurant!"

"What?!"

Beer Lunch

Under New Mismanagement

Make your own bottled water.

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

Sawrd Fighting

Pastoral Choirs

Psycho-plankton.

Privatization and Deregulation are the gas in the engine of the economy.

'Look, that peasant is eating something -- the economy's on the move again!'

"I hate when this happens."