Self-care Satirist Gifts

Bald hairdresser recomending hair restoring lotion

Lady Liberty's Self-Care

Maybe it's time to lighten on that stuff...

Bald eagle is wearing a toupee.

Bald Man Overcomb

"And, at the end of a busy day, this is where John comes to self-describe."

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

We can't call the doctor, we can't call the nurse, we have to call the lady with the alligator purse.

"That can't be right. How'd you work 15 hours in on day?"

New from Lockdown Press

"Gorg, you've got to let yourself evolve!"

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

'First of all, I'm taking you off the iron supplements.'

'You can't call it a miracle drug just because you added miracle whip!'

Bald man polishing head

"It's easy. The first step is to entirely change who you are."

'Oh, great... Big date tonight and I've got a zit on my nose.'

EAT HAY LOVE One Horse's Search for Everything

"This one is called 'Essence of Hockey Bag.'"

'Another upsetting discovery from the world of nutrition: New studies indicate that the air itself is fattening...'

Witch making a brew with Gluten, Nuts, Trans Fats, BGH, GMOs...

Energy Drinks

'It's so ironic: I finally win a prize at a raffle and it has to be a free pedicure!'

'Let's order one more MRI, just to play it safe.'

'Julie,has anyone told you how beautiful you look today? If so send them in for an eye test straight away!'

"Don't worry, Mr. Johns, basically we'll be taking your organs out and repositioning them all, just a bit to the left."

'I used to be a pack animal. Lately, I've become a two pack animal.'

"Tan O'Clock Salon. Your key to maintaining a healthy afterglow in the afterlife."

Covid-19

"I'm not really tan. I've had my head in the oven."

'I would appreciate if your young lady waited for you up the road,Wilkins.'

Narcissus visits the ophthalmologist

Cat Self-Help Support Group