Self-belief Enthusiast Pillows

'I know you'll find this hard to believe but I am actually a self made man.'

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

"Well, I'm sad for Gloria...she's gonna be bummed out when I'm twice as successful as she is."

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

'You are a self-starter... problem is, you never finish anything.'

"Goodnight, Dan, you handsome devil!"

Don't Take No For an Answer

When you're wearing your big girl pants...You Can Take On The World!

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending" yourself on Facebook."

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.

100% Bombast-Filled Parka

"On a personal note, my wife, Ann, and I have agreed to separate, as I've fallen in love with the sound of my own voice."

"It's my self-portrait. Obviously."

I heart my bum.

Narcissus

"I put my pants on the same as every other middle-aged person—in constant fear that the button will pop off under pressure."

Feed me

'I need something that will raise my energy level but not my self esteem - I'm already full of myself.'

'Are we birds? Are these wings? Well, let's get rid of this idea that we can't fly!'

"I've found someone else who thinks I'm really attractive."

Bob Found A Different Yardstick For Success And he Felt Swell

'Egomania, you say? How on earth did you diagnose me so quickly?'

"If anyone wants me I'll be on the shop floor strutting my stuff."

'I'm impressed by your self-confidence. What other skills do you have?'

The power of positive affirmations

'Does what's left of my bum look big in that?'

'He wants to look slightly mysterious and menacing.'

Honk if you *heart* yourself.

'That's what I like about the Big Guy - he's usually wrong, but he's never in doubt.'

"I really am very pleased with the dress I bought. It makes me feel not so dumpy and without."

Over sixty and happy

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

'Ms. Collins, order me a dozen roses asap. And make sure I say something flattering to myself in the card.'