Self-actualisation Gifts

'If I can't put her out of her misery, at least I can put myself out of mine.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

That party went well.

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

"I shop, therefore I am."

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

When did you first feel like a male trapped in a female body? When I was a foetus.

"I like you in that one—it gives you an aura of mindfulness."

A woman is as young as she feels like admitting to.

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

"Look, it's my word balloon."

The Map of the Human Heart

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"If you're trying to find yourself, Mr. Ludlow, just ping your phone."

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

"Is this who I am?"

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

Planned service changes

"Oh No!! - I'm deciduous..."

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

I wonder what they're moaning about right now?

Always remember...you're the best you in the world.

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."