Self-actualisation T-Shirts

'If I can't put her out of her misery, at least I can put myself out of mine.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

"I shop, therefore I am."

That party went well.

I figured out how we can pay for the kids' college tuitions. Do tell. I'm going to leave for a year of self-discovery, which I will chronicle in a best-selling memoir. Oh, but

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

When did you first feel like a male trapped in a female body? When I was a foetus.

"I like you in that one—it gives you an aura of mindfulness."

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

"Look, it's my word balloon."

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

A woman is as young as she feels like admitting to.

The Map of the Human Heart

"If you're trying to find yourself, Mr. Ludlow, just ping your phone."

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

"Is this who I am?"

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

"Oh No!! - I'm deciduous..."

Planned service changes

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

"My inner child feels threatened by my inner baby."

Truth

"I became a mentor because I needed more direction in life."