Seeking Partner Pillows

'Can't be high-maintenance, but she must have class. Economy class.'

'This bloke's perfect in every way - except... he's trying to find a partner on the internet...'

'Single math professor in search of an intelligent woman. Send an example of your favorite equation.'

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"Don't worry, princess, I'm sure one day your Mr. Divine Right will come along."

Sculptor making a statue to hug.

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

"I keep reading all these stories about virtual reality nookie."

Take You Home

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

"You like taking long walks in the rain? My dogs will love you!"

"We met online, it was love at first site."

'...And preferably someone with a blood donor card.'

"Better hurry it up on that 'Eve' project. Adam's been giving the eye to an orangutan."

"The full partner look."

'Here we've both been, breaking our necks to meet the right person, and BAM!'

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'I'm not sure we have a girl with THAT good a sense of humor.'

'This sounds good. Sensitive, professional male, 30-35, enjoys long slithers along the beach...'

Computer dating.

"I've found someone else who thinks I'm really attractive."

A princess looking for frogs

"Is there a doctor in the house...hopefully unmarried?"

Girl praying for love

"Don't ever give up, Marjorie. I never thought I'd meet anyone either."

"Is he a good alimony risk?"

"All the good ones are either married or identify as gatherers."

'I know she's not much to look at, but neither are you!'

'You're breaking your mothers heart, Vinnie! Would it kill you to settle down with a nice girl like Nancy?'

"Have you tried finessing her?"

"Why is it sooo difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking. . . ?"

"You might like my daughter. She's single and desperate too."

"Y'know, I'm also into gene editing."

'Boy, I'm glad I've met you: It is so hard to find a partner who, like me, doesn't want children...'