Partner Searching Pillows

'I'm looking for someone with an intoxicating smile and kisses sweeter than wine.'

'Single math professor in search of an intelligent woman. Send an example of your favorite equation.'

'Ready Mum?'

'I should warn you about my father. He's a landscape gardener.'

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"Don't worry, princess, I'm sure one day your Mr. Divine Right will come along."

Sculptor making a statue to hug.

'You never kiss me like that.'

Take You Home

"It's amazing. We've just met, but I feel like we've known each other since we were kids, became high school sweethearts, got married too young, had a bunch of brats, went through a messy divorce, reconciled, remarried each other, and are now back together after all these years."

They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.

'Santa ! Bring my Baby Back!' - 'You didn't tell me she was hot!'

"We met online, it was love at first site."

'...And preferably someone with a blood donor card.'

"The full partner look."

"But he's no longer with us."

"I want to get rich while you're still beautiful."

'Here we've both been, breaking our necks to meet the right person, and BAM!'

Computer dating.

Speed Dating

"I've found someone else who thinks I'm really attractive."

"I'm leaving you, Scott. You're too clingy."

Online Dating

"Is there a doctor in the house...hopefully unmarried?"

"Need hug."

"Don't ever give up, Marjorie. I never thought I'd meet anyone either."

"Is he a good alimony risk?"

"Height has nothing to do with it, Arnie. I just can't imagine myself with a man who doesn't know the broche for hors d'euvres."

"An assortment of severed plant genitalia. Is there a subtext I should be aware of?"

'You're breaking your mothers heart, Vinnie! Would it kill you to settle down with a nice girl like Nancy?'

"Unitarian. You?"

"Sure, I'll go out to dinner with you, but this time I get to choose the place."

'Wow - you're even prettier than your picture on 'Date'Em.com!''

'I didn't know our relationship was SUPPOSED to be going anywhere.'

'I know she's not much to look at, but neither are you!'