Partner Searching Pillows

'I'm looking for someone with an intoxicating smile and kisses sweeter than wine.'

'Single math professor in search of an intelligent woman. Send an example of your favorite equation.'

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

'I should warn you about my father. He's a landscape gardener.'

'Ready Mum?'

"Don't worry, princess, I'm sure one day your Mr. Divine Right will come along."

Sculptor making a statue to hug.

Take You Home

'You never kiss me like that.'

They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.

"It's amazing. We've just met, but I feel like we've known each other since we were kids, became high school sweethearts, got married too young, had a bunch of brats, went through a messy divorce, reconciled, remarried each other, and are now back together after all these years."

'Santa ! Bring my Baby Back!' - 'You didn't tell me she was hot!'

"We met online, it was love at first site."

'...And preferably someone with a blood donor card.'

'Here we've both been, breaking our necks to meet the right person, and BAM!'

"The full partner look."

"But he's no longer with us."

"I want to get rich while you're still beautiful."

Computer dating.

Speed Dating

"I've found someone else who thinks I'm really attractive."

"Need hug."

"I'm leaving you, Scott. You're too clingy."

Online Dating

"Is there a doctor in the house...hopefully unmarried?"

"Don't ever give up, Marjorie. I never thought I'd meet anyone either."

'I know I've met Mr. Right this time - we both hate Jim Carrey!'

"Height has nothing to do with it, Arnie. I just can't imagine myself with a man who doesn't know the broche for hors d'euvres."

"Is he a good alimony risk?"

"An assortment of severed plant genitalia. Is there a subtext I should be aware of?"

"Unitarian. You?"

"All the good ones are either married or identify as gatherers."

"Sure, I'll go out to dinner with you, but this time I get to choose the place."

'I didn't know our relationship was SUPPOSED to be going anywhere.'

"This might be the year to start lying about your age."