Finding A New Partner Pillows

"I've found someone else who thinks I'm really attractive."

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

'Single math professor in search of an intelligent woman. Send an example of your favorite equation.'

'I should warn you about my father. He's a landscape gardener.'

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"Don't worry, princess, I'm sure one day your Mr. Divine Right will come along."

"Can you tell me the story again about how you swiped right on Dad?"

'Actually thursday'll be a perfect time to come by Penny. That way you'll finally get the chance to meet my other half.'

Take You Home

'You never kiss me like that.'

'Santa ! Bring my Baby Back!' - 'You didn't tell me she was hot!'

"It's amazing. We've just met, but I feel like we've known each other since we were kids, became high school sweethearts, got married too young, had a bunch of brats, went through a messy divorce, reconciled, remarried each other, and are now back together after all these years."

'I'm not sure I want to see you again, but just in case, I've backed you up on a flash drive.'

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'

'It's our first date. You don't know me well enough to ask if I'm getting enough fiber.'

"We met online, it was love at first site."

'...And preferably someone with a blood donor card.'

"But he's no longer with us."

"I want to get rich while you're still beautiful."

"Height is the only thing I'm capable of changing about myself."

'Here we've both been, breaking our necks to meet the right person, and BAM!'

'It will never work. She's touchy-feely, and he is just touchy.'

"It's not you, Glen—it's your ex-wife. She's behind me, isn't she?"

Mum, Dad, I've met something...

"The full partner look."

Computer dating.

Speed Dating

"You just can't accept that I've found someone 'extra special'." Best bitter / Pale Ale / Tennants Very Very Strong Lager.

"We met over the holidays."

"These tomatoes...they are beautiful, are they not?"

'Actually I'm looking for a less meaningful relationship. I didn't understand the last one!'

"Congratulations. I just need your initials here."

"Is there a doctor in the house...hopefully unmarried?"

"I'm leaving you, Scott. You're too clingy."

'You CAN change a man, but then they divorce you, remarry and the new wife reaps all the benefits.'