Sedentary Specialist Gifts

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

"Chair looks couch potato friendly!"

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

"They remove people who have become 'jammed in armchairs' due to COVID 19 lockdown!"

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

'Too long at his desk...we're going need surgery to cut him free.'

'I try and humour him...it's the only exercise he gets!'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

'Prolonged sitting leads to death? What's up with that?'

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

"Remember me? I'm your running shoes. Remember what running is?"

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

Use it or lose it.

'American, idle.'

A businessman sits behind a desk; a nameplate on the desk reads "A. Nellson: Desk Potato".

'How many calories do you burn by downloading apps?'

'Hmm...Sofa sores. This is becoming increasingly common in fat blokes.'

"Do you have any reading material that doesn't mock the sedentary life?"

"Just back from lunch . . . I needed to stretch my legs."

"Obsessive complacent disorder"

Reality television programme - showing infinite regression

"So, let's see what your fitness band says today."

"Only 200 steps? But I've been chasing a buck all day long!"

"I'm not sure that lifting the remote control is what they meant by 'taking exercise'!"

"Will I be able to carry on not doing any exercise?"

"I'm not sure what that feels like."

"I can't tell if you're at work or at home."

"Whay do they think about all day?"

Modern Childhood

Girl on couch considers channel-hopping to be a sport