Sedentary Executive Gifts

A businessman sits behind a desk; a nameplate on the desk reads "A. Nellson: Desk Potato".

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Where your mind & battle are los

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

'Now that I have your attention...'

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

Occu-Pie Mars

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

Businesswoman Empowerment

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"My email is down... talk to me."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

'Let's not go by the book.'

Butterfly Woman

Killer Executive Suits.

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years