Executive Lifestyle Gifts

"Not bad! ...For a duck."

'I used to worry about becoming a big cheese in the company. Now that I'm a big cheese in the company, I worry about my cholesterol.'

"It helps me stay focused on what matters most."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"Yes, my office has a swimming pool, golf course and helicopter pad. It's good to be CEO."

Att: Executives! Ask about our 'Ego trip' packages!

"If you're going to grub for something, it might as well be money."

"Office supply? My yes men have become so boring. Can I trade them in for a witty sidekick or two?"

"It drives me MAD when people whine about the amount top management get paid. . ."

"Where do you expect to be ten years from now?"

Office Supply - Man leaves with golf clubs.

"Yes, I'm working from home today..."

'You have a board meeting on 8.'

'It's pretty common among cruising executives, Mrs. Johnson... we call it non-jet-lag.'

"It's an often-overlooked fact that we CEOs also do jobs that most Americans won't do."

'Since I retired as CEO, I haven't won a single game.'

'It's lonely at the top.'

"You're only supposed to putt it into the glass!"

"How do you like being on the board of directors, Wilkins?"

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Where your mind & battle are los

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"My email is down... talk to me."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."