Executive Life Gifts

'The accountants can wait, Tell them I'm tied up in a meeting with representatives from Pomerol Pommard,'

'He's got quite a crazy new compensation plan! An honest day's work for an honest day's pay!'

Who is this man and what does he do?

"Unfortunately, Whitcomb, I am suffering from compassion fatigue."

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

Man frozen in portrait pose.

'He was always too busy to sit for his portrait.'

'Between you and me I always thought Jenkins was full of hot air.'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

Where your mind & battle are los

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

'Now that I have your attention...'

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"This position has become very important to the company."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Businesswoman Empowerment

"My email is down... talk to me."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'