Security System Inspector Gifts

"It's a great old building, but I wish we had a more up-to-date security system."

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

Quality Control

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

Time Out For Teddy

No caption (A crash test dummy in the shape of a bird flies toward a window. Other birds dressed as scientists study the experiment from the ground).

"We'll get there when we get there!"

'Mind you don't wake the baby.'

'Take us to your crash test facilities. We're here to liberate our compatriots!'

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

Clickbait

'I don't care how you do it...just make it look like an accident.'

Nuclear Security Summit

Job Safety - Hardhat.

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

Nuclear waste.

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

The man in the big yellow hat remedies George's curiosity once and for all,

HUAWEI 5G

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

'Oh no. Another major code violation decision.'

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty