Security Shaman Pillows

'This is Mr. Uhmatungha, he knows how to protect computers from even the worst hacker and virus attacks.'

The Anti-Agent

UK border controls relaxed.

High security Santa's grotto

'Where was the TSA?'

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"He's a guard dog."

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

"I see you've security marked your property."

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Shaped Much Different: Vietnam and Afghanistan.

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

AI Safety Officer

Scarecrows guarding a field

"Beware of Don"

'Best watchdog I ever had!'

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

Moulin Rouge Security

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."