Security Shaman T-Shirts

'This is Mr. Uhmatungha, he knows how to protect computers from even the worst hacker and virus attacks.'

The Anti-Agent

UK border controls relaxed.

High security Santa's grotto

'Where was the TSA?'

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"He's a guard dog."

"I see you've security marked your property."

The Scanner Of Love.

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Shaped Much Different: Vietnam and Afghanistan.

A Little Extra

Death to the Extremists

AI Safety Officer

Scarecrows guarding a field

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

"Beware of Don"

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

Moulin Rouge Security

'Best watchdog I ever had!'