Security Protocol Fan Gifts

'This chap's been through every day since we got the new scanners.'

'Mommy -- Jimmy just wrote his first computer virus!'

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

'We'll have Bubba here check to see if we've idiot-proofed your computer.'

'If a hacker steals all my information from my health records do they keep my health problems too?'

"...And now step 2 disconnect power before plugging in..."

"Infecting their computers with the Pillage&Plunder Virus just doesn't give the same satisfaction as actually doing it."

'I'm sorry sir, but that slide rule exceeds the allowable length for a sharp object, unless, of course, you can manage to fold it.'

'Stealth broom.'

"I think we're named after computer passwords."

"Oh, I forgot that you missed the meeting. Our data security team added some new protection when accessing patient data files."

'We've given up on anti-virus software in favour of this!'

'Stand back!...She's cleared out three local stores in the last year.'

"We don't need facial recognition for our long-term employees. We just match their butts to the seat of their chair."

Genetic Engineering - biohazards dept.

'You need a better password. Everybody will be able to guess you password as 'woof'.'

Godzilla's Security Question

"You're confusing me with someone else. I'm in Document Destruction and I just need to get to your shredder bin."

Putin and some Russian hackers

'Hey, look, the sprinkler system works.'

We know your e-mail address!

"Big data, firewalls and would-be hackers, they're nothing new . . ."

Safety pin factory.

'You can't beat the old style security systems!'

The worst part about the end of a ninja convention is all the smoke bombs.

"I understand your concern, but you don't have to wear that suit when getting on a public website. That's not how germs are spread."

"Sorry, guys, but it only opens for my paw print."

'Now that's what I call a guard dog.'

Betty liked to use safety glasses

Put your nude photos on the internet! Confidentiality assured!

"Can I see some I.D. - not that security doesn't already have you pegged."

"I'm looking for a sense of security and piece of mind in a short-recoil-operated, single-action semiautomatic."

"Security, would you review the surveillance tape and tell me where the hell I placed my keys?"

"Unfortunately, his personal hygiene has taken a backseat to his cyber hygiene."