Digital Security Fan Gifts

Putin and some Russian hackers

We know your e-mail address!

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

Time Machine Collision

'Mommy -- Jimmy just wrote his first computer virus!'

'Since PRISM, nothing is 'off the record' any more.'

"Barbara, will you check your texts for a ring emoji?"

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

'Hey...here's a hot prospect...likes catching frisbees, chasing squirrels, rolling in smelly stuff...'

Don't look know, but I think you're being Googled.

'We'll have Bubba here check to see if we've idiot-proofed your computer.'

"It appears you have a virus."

Workplace Confidentiality.

'If a hacker steals all my information from my health records do they keep my health problems too?'

'My laptop's being repaired and I felt lost without a screensaver to stare at.'

"Infecting their computers with the Pillage&Plunder Virus just doesn't give the same satisfaction as actually doing it."

'I'm sorry sir, but that slide rule exceeds the allowable length for a sharp object, unless, of course, you can manage to fold it.'

Smile you're on camera! You're also on my podcast!

"I think we're named after computer passwords."

"Oh, I forgot that you missed the meeting. Our data security team added some new protection when accessing patient data files."

"If there's a way in, they'll find it."

'We've given up on anti-virus software in favour of this!'

My password is ELEPHANT. It may not be the strongest, but I never forget it.

"We don't need facial recognition for our long-term employees. We just match their butts to the seat of their chair."

'You'll need a better credit rating before we can give you a credit card?'

'And do you vow to give her all of your login passwords until death do you part?'

"Millions at risk from identity theft - good thing I'm safe."

"Everyone here is bonding over pictures of their dogs."

'You need a better password. Everybody will be able to guess you password as 'woof'.'

'Maybe we should get into high-tech.'

STRIP Hambone: Computer is a know-it-all

Godzilla's Security Question

"It's a web business fed up with credit card fraud ..they prefer to be paid by cash now!"

'If you see a stranger, you kill him -- it's called 'Homeland Security.''

Selfie Extension Stik