Security Fan Gifts

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

"...And now step 2 disconnect power before plugging in..."

'I always wanted two lips!' Why the chicken crossed the road.

'I'm sorry sir, but that slide rule exceeds the allowable length for a sharp object, unless, of course, you can manage to fold it.'

"I think we're named after computer passwords."

"We don't need facial recognition for our long-term employees. We just match their butts to the seat of their chair."

Genetic Engineering - biohazards dept.

'Stand back!...She's cleared out three local stores in the last year.'

"Lollipop man, dear.. what lollipop man?"

Man looking at window with beware of attack bird sign.

Godzilla's Security Question

Putin and some Russian hackers

'Hey, look, the sprinkler system works.'

We know your e-mail address!

'Good evening!! I'm doing a survey on home security!!'

"Big data, firewalls and would-be hackers, they're nothing new . . ."

Safety pin factory.

'You can't beat the old style security systems!'

"Sorry, guys, but it only opens for my paw print."

"Easy does it, Ralph."

'Now that's what I call a guard dog.'

Betty liked to use safety glasses

"I understand your concern, but you don't have to wear that suit when getting on a public website. That's not how germs are spread."

"Can I see some I.D. - not that security doesn't already have you pegged."

"I'm looking for a sense of security and piece of mind in a short-recoil-operated, single-action semiautomatic."

Air Bag.

Keep Apart 2 Chevrons

"Security, would you review the surveillance tape and tell me where the hell I placed my keys?"

'This chap's been through every day since we got the new scanners.'

America's Funniest Surveillance Camera Videos

"This vehicle also has a rear blind spot elimination assistant fitted as standard."

"Here, let me take that for you."

'I'm afraid we aren't open to the public yet.'

"Let's see how you do on this car quiz. How many feet does it take to stop the car if you're driving 75 miles an hour and you have to slam on the brakes?"