Security Personnel Pillows

"I'm starting to really like the smell of cocaine."

"They're fake. Part of the new false sense of security system."

"Oh, can't complain."

'You do a fine job guarding the place, we just need you to shed less.'

"Pandora's Carry-on"

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

'Your Ebola test came back negative, but your stress ulcer needs treatment.'

'It's titled 'Art Thief'.'

Immigration - 'You haven't got enough points to re-enter the UK.'

Privacy Conference Security

"Mr. Harrison already sees you."

Bluewater security man stopping baby with hood.

'Sure, Sarah's through there, go straight through.'

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"Keep your eyes peeled Jenkins - another photocopiers gone missing."

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

"Okay, I guess....first we had a lockdown drill, then we had an active shooter drill. Following that we had a fire drill. After that we got to meet out security guards. Then we watched a video on avoiding sexual predators...."

Surveillance Society - 'I didn't see anything.'

"I'm sure they're not targeting you personally."

Sign on Secret Service door: Could be out to lunch.

"No I'm not a sniffer dog, I've just got a cold."

Lamp post.

Mexican taking a siesta. Telescope coming out of top of his Sombrero,

'We're having trouble getting your taster though the doorway, Sire!'

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

"Would you please come with us, Sir?!"

"The club scene is really changing."

"Looks like crime is down."

'If you'll excuse me, my car is on fire.'

"I'd like to help, pal, but I'm on my way to arrest a guy for violating a 'no smoking' ordinance."

Exercise Time in Jail

'I'm a guard dog too.'

'That's not good enough!'

'Miss Caldwell, call security and send in the kleptomaniac.'

"I hate when this happens."