Security Staff Pillows

"What's great about this job is the anti-social interaction."

'Simkins, I want a word with you lad...'

"Do we allow a potential terrorist on board, or do we get sued silly for discriminating against the body mass index-challenged?"

Dance Club Bouncer with scars "Must be Ska night."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

High security Santa's grotto

'You know too much,'

Multi-tasking.

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

Airport Security.

'These are job perks.'

'Where was the TSA?'

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

TSA Noah

"He's a guard dog."

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

The Hall Of Mirrors Jeretski Palace, Plovdo

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

"I need to know who started it."

Dog barking at everything except a burglar.

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

"I see you've security marked your property."

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Busy office.