Security Expert With A Humor Twist Gifts

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

'Where was the TSA?'

Airport Security.

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Shaped Much Different: Vietnam and Afghanistan.

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

CCTV in church.

Statue of Security

Nuclear Security Summit

Big finger print trying to forge a cheque but he can't.

"That does it! ISIS is defeated."

Dictator, Interrupted

"That vulture just appeared and started picking at my phone. My battery must have died."

'Do you hear someone shouting at us?'

The Costs Of Doing War.

The Ayatollah Bomb?

Official Rhetoric About Leakers and Whistleblowers, Translated

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

Try again - Your password has to include barks, growls, whines and at least one yap.

How to create a password you can remember...

'I can't shake off this feeling we're being watched.'

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

The world of surveillance.

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

"Gentlemen! Don't touch anything!"

The ultimate Secret Service demotion. We're sending you to guard Mount Rushmore.

The prime minister: the current threat to national security...

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

'Principal McWit, a student without an appointment is here and says he's holding your computer access codes for ransom.'

'He's Barack Obama? I thought you said 'he brought a bomb on!''

Munich Security Conference