Cybersecurity Satirist Gifts

How to create a password you can remember...

"Your password should be at least four characters."

Airport Security.

"Now you can send it."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

'for more obit info, go to...'

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

"Do screen doors just keep insects out, or other things too?"

Munich Security Conference

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

'Hello, security.'

"She barks once for drugs, twice for weapons, and ten times for candy bars."

'You have the right to refuse the body scanner, but then I'll have to pat you down.'

It's your replacement for 'Nimrod'!

"Can you believe we walked right past security?"

Airport security - next step?

Lies on the Internet

"Sorry Brian, bit of a rush this morning - I've left my face in the car."

'Yes, Fluffy was a great dog and to honor her memory, we've decided to keep her name as part of our computer password.'

'No thanks. This patch stops me craving for superflous functions.'

Beware of the teddy

Busker ignored because of the rise of MP3 players.

Fabric Company: No tulle left in this vehicle overnight

STRIP Hambone: Woman referred to as software

"You now fit all mobile devices!"

"No, he's not a security risk ... he just loves the pat-downs."

Data at landfill

The primitive age: 'Do you know that the 'i stone2' was released?'

'I got a tool to remove malicious malware...'